Wednesday, January 17, 2007

May I remind you that buttermilk is not a sports drink?

Dear Friends,

I'm here with a public service announcement: Buttermilk is not a sports drink. Water is a sports drink. Gatorade and its electrolyte-filled friends are sports drinks. I'll even give you protein shakes if you're a body builder (or maybe just a poor student rower). But I hate to break it to you that butter milk, pictured here in its German version: Buttermilch, is not a sports drink. It's not refreshing and for all I know all that lactic acid might make your muscles more sore . . . although actually, I don't know that to be a fact or even scientifically defensible.

At any rate, I saw someone at the gym today drinking buttermilk and I was shocked and appalled. Let me repeat, shocked and appalled. As a child, my friend Sara and I payed her little brother, Travis, to drink buttermilk because we found it so revolting. He went for it. Today, living in Germany, I find that many people actually enjoy drinking buttermilk. In fact, the geoscientists that I used to work with claimed to be addicted to drinking buttermilk. It's just not right! Buttermilk is for pancakes and . . . uhh . . . I don't know what else, but definately pancakes. If this upsets you too, give me a shout out because you guys have gotten a bit lax about commenting lately and it's gettin' me down.


Man from the internet enjoying buttermilk, thus giving consumers the false impression that it is delicious and refreshing.


13 comments:

Maria said...

The fact that you saw some muscle monkey drinking butter milk just made me ralph up something quite similar. I haven't felt that gross since ... that cable car ride.

Stefan Rother said...

Hey claire

Calm down. What so wrong about drinking buttermilk? At least you know what's in there which is something I wouldn't necessarily say about gatorade. My grandma even drank cream every once in a while. Respect our national habbits :-)

Stefan

Stefan Rother said...

BTW: The best sports drink, scientifically proven, sugar-free, 0 calories, is alcohol-free beer

Zosia said...

I'd have to say that although I respect Stefan's comments about national habits....I still think it's ewww. I wouldn't necessarily throw someone out of a window over it, but it definitely provokes a shuddery reaction from me. I think it's mostly the chunk factor. And the sourness....eep.

Rhiannon said...

this reminds of of an old saturday night live skit, where they spoofed clear pepsi (a great 90s trend) and did a clear gravy commercial...it was like a gatorade commercial, but instead, the were drinking...(chugging, splashing on their face etc) a clear liquid, of a think gravy/hair gel consistency...wow, a great thought first thing in the morning!
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93bcrystalgravy.phtml

Claire in Tuba-Town said...

Stefan,
I'm not actually so opposed to drinking buttermilk in general, but come on, a sports drink? Actually, after reading your essay, I would be quite likely to enjoy an alcohol-free beer the next time I'm at the gym. I wish that I knew someone who went to my gym who I could try that with . . . I just think it would be funnier with two people.

Claire in Tuba-Town said...

and Rhiannon, I totally remember that SNL skit!

skhl said...

your blog has gotten so fancy!
I can say that from a novice medical perspective, but a medical perspective nonetheless, that ingesting buttermilk as a sports drink is not safe. don't germans know about danger?

Claire in Tuba-Town said...

Germans obviously don't know about danger. You should see the carnival rides they come up with . . . Actually, I'm thinking that maybe we should collaborate on a blog entry about danger.

skhl said...

danger and collaboration are two of my great interests. let's do it.

Grandpa Jack said...

Buttermilch ist ein grosse aqui schmeldbitter mit der volk. OOch,
mein bliestiff ist gon foul und cronck! Enschuldagunzi bitta. Ahh, ist
ein fraumilcha. Ich bin grosse schemerplan.

Stefan said...

Claire, I would love to go to the gym with you and have a alcohol free beer there - just to be able to see the other people there watching us as if we were complete idiots... :-)
Is there a possibility of a "Schnupperbesuch" at your gym or do I have to sign a 1-year contract with them? :-)

Claire in Tuba-Town said...

Stefan, we MUST do that! Although I think we need someone to take pictures. I'll ask them the next time I'm there if they have some kind of trial visit thingy.