Thursday, November 23, 2006

Today today, what a day!

I just got off the phone with my parents. As my mother put it, we hadn't talked in 20 million years, which is actually true if you do the proper calculations, taking into consideration the physical distance between us, the fact that I am an only child, my height and weight, the current length of the days, and the position of Jupiter. And man oh man did the parents pull through for me today. Here were the highlights:

I asked my father what he might like for Christmas. He thought for a bit and said that there probably wasn't anything that I could get him that he would be interested in, other than $100 million. He then proceeded to tell me that the one and only thing that he wanted for Christmas was an infrared meat thermometer and that he had already asked his mother for it. Let's take a step back here. I did indeed say infrared meat thermometer. I was told by my father that one must simply point it at the meat and it tells you the temperature, not just of the outside, but all the way down to the bone. In retrospect I should have asked if this worked on people and animals too, but at the time I was too busy giggling. At any rate, my father was recently reading a book from a chef that he likes about everything that a good gourmet kitchen must have and suddenly realized that he had everything, except for the infrared meat thermometer. I agreed that if the only thing that you could think of for your Christmas gift was an infrared meat thermometer, then you probably really didn't need anything else.

My mother's shining moment in the conversation was when she told me about the 91 year old man who was hunting with a shotgun by our cottage last weekend. Apparently Hunk, the granddad of our neighborhood, told this buddy of his that he could do some hunting on the land around our cottages, with his shotgun. Although two of our neighbors and close friends hunt frequently on this land, they do so with crossbows, a hobby which is far less disruptive to people in the area. So this 91 year old man caused quite a ruckus all day and was also so hard of hearing that when my parents, on separate occasions, returned from running their errands, they had to inch behind them in their cars as he walked down the road because he couldn't hear them. My mother reported that she almost had to bump the man with her car so that she could pass. Eventually he turned around and notice the car, and my mother noticed that his fly was down. Good that a man with a rifle is so aware of himself and his surroundings.

If you know the parents of the Claire, then those stories are probably pretty amusing, if not, you should really meet them. The parents rock.

I hate to sound all new agey, but I think that I was somehow aligned with planets or something cosmic today. I'm not really sure what it was, but as I walked around the city today I felt totally energized and present. Then I came across a box of free ribbon (curling ribbon to be exact) and I knew it was true--today is my day. I now have over a kilometer of ribbon (fuchsia, black, and white) and I feel great about life.

PS Timothy, if you're out there and reading, I think that the sushi district in Tübingen is at my house. If you want a lesson, I'm here for you. You just have to bring the wine.


Anonymous said...

After that phone call I don't miss you anymore and we won't have to talk for another 20 million years.


Tink said...

The Sushi district in Tübingen is definately at your house! And you are excellent in the art of "teaching how to make sushi" (I recommend a lesson from her to everyone!!)!!

PS: Thanks for the card by the way! That really made my day! I think it was even better than a kilometer of free ribbon!!

Katie said...

I read this and howled. Especially with the kicker about the old man's fly being down. Icing on the cake. Priceless.

And I'm very intrigued to see if this infared thermometer measures human temperatures.

And on a weird weird slight sick tangent, I saw the Biography on Jeffrey Dahmer the other night and strangely thought of you with the Milwaukee connection. I'm still a bit horrified I think.

Anonymous said...

Ms. Lewis, we are all still a bit horrified by the J.D. story. It was hideous!